whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
