"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
