he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
