I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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