his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
