dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
