You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
