If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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