Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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