I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
