It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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