I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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