you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
