I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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