i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
