idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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