just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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