Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
