My hair reeks of homosexuality.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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