So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
