there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Randomize
