I'm really into asian looking animals
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
