im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
