I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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