I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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