no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
