Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
