I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize