return my video game
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
