p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
