you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
