Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
