you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
