It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
