Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
