I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
50% drunk capacity currently
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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