i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I would fuck him just for his dog
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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