As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
sex in a hospital.. check
Randomize
