is your mom at the bar?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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