The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
