why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
