they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Your cock deserves a montage
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
