BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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