I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
