You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
