my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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