what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Randomize
