So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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