Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
