Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
