i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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