its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
