you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
