the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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