Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
