i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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