lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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