I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
