just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
